My Good Reminder….

I teach, contractually,  students at the college level – so the end of the semester, and the beginning of May, for me symbolizes a time to slow down, gather my thoughts, take care of myself in a better way and finish the number of projects I started but slowly lost priority in every day life.  I have yet to do any of this so far in the month of May  – and it is almost over! May has turned out to be a month of finishing up & preparing for work, attending meetings and conferences, dance rehearsals & recitals, baseball practices & games, swimming lessons, birthday parties and medical appointments.

In the midst of all of this I have struggled to maintain balance…and I have failed….taking care of my children’s lives and work came first.  And although these are things I love – I am disappointed that I did not set better boundaries to do the things I set out do do at the beginning of the month.  This really hit yesterday when I realized that my 21 years anniversary since we have been together as a couple passed with only a phone call and greeting of “Merry 17th“ to my husband to commemorate the day.  I usually make a bigger deal of this as it is a special day.  I am not ok with this path I seem to be following.  I need to adjust my mind to realign with my heart and soul to make different choices on how I spend my time, so I create the flow not follow it.  I started thinking about what I need to do this.

One of my favorite quotes that I used as a life motto for many years is `You are not defined by what has happened to you in the past. You future is defined by what you want for the future` ~Unknown.  It is time to gain some perspective. Time to think about more than the work that is waiting to be finished and what is on the schedule for the day.  Setting long term goals helps remind me of the life I want and the groove I am striving to attain. Because I only get one chance as me in this life and when I am old and sitting in my rocking on my front porch the memories that I want to sustain me are the ones I want to create. I came across a great tool for long term goal setting on the Lululemon website, you can type write into the PDF and print it: http://www.lululemon.com/education/goalsetting

As I complete this form I am inspired – I am reminded of the possibilities life has to offer and a little less lost in the busyness of everyday.

vision_goals_worksheet

The Mom I Want to Be….

ten years ago while I was expecting my first child i had all these expectations (i guess that why they call it expecting).  expectations of my life, of myself, of my child.  and then i gave birth….and that is when the beginning of all my expectations of what life would be like began to evaporate and the reality of being a mother began to set in.  my birth did not go as expected but holding that little person in my arms i realized it did not matter – i would be the person she needed me to be so she could grow up feeling safe and loved and happy.  and so that has continued….motherhood challenges me in every way.  i have often thought to myself as the illusion i had of myself as a mother vanishes – my children need me to be the mom that they need.  and that is the mom i want to be.  so everyday i practice motherhood.  some days i get it right, some days i don’t, and i keep practicing….